Things you can't post on facebook

Oh how I miss watching my Annie run, play and laugh.  At night as I rub out her body I beg the Lord that tomorrow she would walk without thinking she'll fall over, hug without pain, eat without throwing up...  I ask for a miracle.  I think of all the other mommies around the world asking for miracles, that their children would have food or that this round of chemo would kill cancer forever.  I know I am not alone. 
Such sorrow, Such joy... I cry a mix of exhaustion and thankfulness.  Oh how we have been blessed.  She is here with me.  I was surrounded by people who carried my burdens, fed my family, paid my bills and did not let us fall.  I was allowed to bring my precious girl home.

I am tired, this is a life-altering burden.  It often feels like physical pain.  I struggle with the sea of hurt that washes over me each time I watch another person experience the type of trauma we have.  I find I can't seperate myself from their pain.  Some things are just life altering and all I can do is trust. 

Just a few things you can't post on Facebook...