The struggle

The Struggle

Lately it overwhelms, it's like i'm an ocean swimmer in the bluest sea, but my strength is waning and i find my head beneath the soft, caressing water.  It lulls me gently as i stay under for longer periods of time.  Each lap of the waves tug me gently out to sea and i am lost.

It's hard to explain, but it has felt like the anniversary of death.  In many ways it is.  The anniversary of a time when life changed.  In my deepest heart I hide hope that this change is not forever, but reality bites with cold truth, it just might be.  Every day ,around the world, things happen and life is changed in ways that we cannot comprehend.  There is no "do over", only pain beckons.

I am cognizant of divine providence, of joy in the pain, of hope for tomorrow, of grace in the moment... but for this period of time, I will lay gently in sorrow.  I will acknowledge its razor edge that has cut my life into before and after.  I'll be honest about my fears and the ways in which they have changed us all.

Sorrow