Mine

It's a curious truth... the way we refuse to look bondage in the eye.  Or trade one form of bondage for another.  The way we tell a grieving person to be glad their love is no longer in pain, or to rejoice that they didn't have to get old and die in agony. 


We are an emotional shape-shifting people.  Someone else's pain betrays our own, someone else's truth shines a light into our corner of darkness.  Never once considering that our truths are all different, that our beliefs are formed from experiences... and that none of us can truly understand.  We can only relate in some way, only understand in part.


And so we find ourselves atop an island, adrift, afloat and alone.  Refusing to tell our truth, refusing transparency, refusing life... because we know to tell the truth, to feel our pain lays us bare to your judgment, to your misunderstanding... to your refusal to believe there might be a life with a different experience in a different time and place.


And so we smile, post another picture, share another mocking poke at our humanness and leave truth in the bottle.  Like a mad genie waiting to be uncorked...she whirls and twists.  I can not defend it, I will not give it accolades... but my soul knows your truth is not for me.  For me, your thoughts are bondage, I will not wear them.


The time arrives, the genie must go.. she must be allowed to emerge and do her work.  And so I release truth and watch as she whips you all into your own frenzy of righteousness.  But, in me the genie brings peace and I wear truth as my favorite gown for she is beautiful.  She is mine and I am hers.  I am not bound by your constraints for my experience is mine alone.


It is a new spring, life blooms as truth finds me faithful to her call.  I have spoken aloud the thoughts that run through my head.  Instead of fear that you won't know me I've given them voice instead.  Pure heady joy... for I am strong and walk in dignity.  I am not broken to accept what is mine...I am blessed.