Being LOVED

Hard spots, deep sadness, an overwhelmed life...a dying. In the midst, grace...deep friendships, LOVE. I have to say I have been loved. It's a good feeling. Knowing, understanding that there are people who would do anything I asked. Usually in life I've been the strong one. Over the last few years I've learned to be more vulnerable. It still makes me uncomfortable. I frankly don't like taking help. I always feel so guilty. I can't even explain why. I just feel like I'm not carrying my weight and yet at times, we just can't carry out own weight. I feel like I've let others carry parts of me for a time.

Then I think of others who grieve a loss. The kind you can't share. The pain that no one knows. I cry for them. It feels good to cry for someone else. We all have friends with that kind of pain. Deep, aching, life altering...

Then I think of grace, completely unmerited, undeserving. I can accept that. It pulls me past the guilt because I don't deserve anything. Grace like rain...a free gift, a beautiful peace, a new beginning. I settle into that and wish it for all people everywhere. It is why He came. Jesus came for broken pieces, unrealized dreams, dead hopes and pain.

With Love, Heidi Girl