Showing posts with label Chinese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese. Show all posts

Monday, January 10, 2011

Through another's eyes

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, "Why Chinese Mother's are superior."
The link is posted below

Why Chinese Mother's are Superior

Reading that article was almost a visceral experience for me.  As I finished reading I realized that my fists were clenched.  The funny thing is that in the Western world I'm one of the most "Chinese" mom's I know.  I home school my kids because I don't believe the school system pushes them hard enough.  I never let them do things I disagree with just to make peace.  I am the final authority on how they will dress and conduct themselves.  I am very frank when I feel any one of my children has given me less than 100%.  I've even been so bold as to tell my kids that we don't have any stupid children in our home and so consequently that stupid behavior will stop immediately.  I would even say that on some level I do feel like my kids owe me.  They owe me a chance to see them grow to be mature and happy, to see them make wise and loving choices.  They owe me respect for my sacrifices in raising them. 

I was left pondering why I felt so strongly about the thoughts expressed in this article.

I kept wondering, if I am only of value for my achievements then where does that leave the child born with less.  The ones closest to the heart of God, those with downs syndrome or with limited faculties, or simple learning disabilities.  What about those who can not achieve, they can only be.  Despite the fact that our country is not singularly Christian we possess as a value this underlying principle that we are all valuable, not for what we do, but for the God-given beauty of our souls.  

For the most part we are incredibly proud of the beauty in each other's children.  In many ways parenting is a shared journey.  We share each others parenting sorrows and rejoice with each triumph.  I find myself shrink back from the solitary-styled success of life being about besting others.  I am drawn to Mother Teresa's words..."We are not called to be successful, but to be faithful"

It frightens me, this idea that my value lies in my success, because deep inside we all know that we are never enough, that we will never measure up and it's the grace and beauty implanted by God that makes us anything lovely at all. 
Melody and Annie with our Chinese daughter Sissi

On a drizzly and cold day last January I walked along the beach with a lovely Chinese woman.  She was very reserved, but over the weeks had developed a twinkle in her eye and a ready smile.  As we stood there overlooking the ocean she said to me, " you have a lovely life here".  In my naivete I thought she was referring to the beauty of Oregon.  I replied, "how do you mean?"  She said to me, "It is a wonderful thing to live as you were meant to.  To choose to do this or that simply because your heart wishes to.  Here you are free... free to be who you were intended.... to think your own thoughts and never worry."

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Beautiful Feet

It's not often that you get to impact the nations without leaving home.  I remember as a child when I first knew that I was called to missions.  I saw myself in an African jungle and outer Mongolia.  I saw myself  working in orphanages and slums.  I didn't picture myself  10 minutes from my childhood home. 

I've been working for a student exchange agency for a couple of years now.  I place full year students from around the globe with local families.  This has been such a pleasure for me.  A good family who loves the Lord can change the course of a students life and in so doing affect a nation far from their own.  While we dream of visiting the nations this is a practical way in which to share.  We aren't flying in, doing a few dramas, talking to people and flying home.  We spend a year loving and living Jesus.  This type of evangelism is extremely fruitful.

In February I had 36 Chinese students and advisers arrive from China for a 2 week stay in Lebanon Oregon of all places.  They came from Beijing.  A city twice the size of LA.  So, you can imagine their shock at seeing what Lebanon was like.  I don't think there was any way to prepare them for just what small town America is like.

Our host families ranged from very conservative Mennonite families to hippy-style Jesus people.  Young families with lots of small children and older married couples with no children left at home.  My goal was to place every single student with a Christian family.  I believe it is a complete waste to bring them all this way and not share the one thing that they need most and can't get in China.  A chance to attend church and live with an openly Christian family.  (I had one family who wasn't Christian, but when I met with them I felt the Lord say that He was interested in that family, take them) 

God provided host families in the most unusual and stretching ways.  In fact 5 days before the students arrived I still needed 7 families and 2 days before the student arrived I still needed 3 families.  God just kept bringing people at the last possible moments. 

I actually had fun praying for the matches.  Asking God which kids were to stay with which family.  I had one family get really mad when I gave them a different child than the one they wanted.  On the last day when the students were leaving they approached me and said that they weren't sure how I did it, but their student was a perfect match.  Grin~  Isn't God good, we can rely on Him to show us.  I had the most fun sharing with them that this was God's perfect match.

I believe that because of my circumstances with my mom dying God brought a special grace because we had absolutely no real problems with any of the students and their host families.  In fact I saw allot of amazing bonding.  We had two beautiful girls stay with us.  Sissi and Rita.  They were freshman.  One year older than our daughter Melody.  The girls had such a great time.  The differences in cultures were staggering.  They are expected to study each day from 6:30am to 6pm at school and then home to eat and study until 11:30pm each night.  The students are dying to play a game or run outside and laugh.  They told me over and over that they truly wished to enjoy life.  The most important thing for a Chinese student is selection.  Upon graduation they will be selected for the type of career that they will be assigned.  This determines the rest of their lives. 

One afternoon, one of the teachers, Helen told me, " you have a very free and relaxing life here".  I said, "yes, what do you mean by that?".  She said, " you are free to tell the truth, you can say no or yes, or give an opinion and while some may not like it, it will not end your career or put you in harms way with those who disagree who may be in authority."  This same teacher Helen stayed with an amazing couple from my church who laid out the plan of salvation early on.  She had many questions during her time here.  She LOVED church.  In fact she sat in the front row videoing everything that happened.  As she got on the plane to go, she looked me deeply in the eyes and said, "Thank you for putting me with Mike and Deb, they gave me answers that I needed and changed my life".  While she did not speak a profession of faith, but I know that for her to say even that is a big thing.  She is the head of the communist party in her community and has been nationally recognized for her teaching skills.  She went home with a Bible in Chinese and the rest is up to God.
We had such a wide variety of responses.  One student asked his host mom what kind of music she was listening to, she told him it was Christian music.  He said he must get some of this music to take home. 

Another student, Ricky went to church with his host mom, the message was on Genesis and the beginning of the world.  He told her, this history you speak of I have never heard, I must know this history.  This is very important.  This same student calls his host mom regularly and talks about reading his Chinese Bible and talks of accepting Jesus.

Jhade stayed with my friend Judy.  After going to church he told her, "that I feel clean, when they were singing I felt cleansed."  While they were here I realized something that I had never considered before.  That even if we had gone to China and had the same experience they still would have missed out on this amazing opportunity to go to church in an open environment.  There is nothing like the Spirit of God to change a life.

From a personal perspective, if I could choose anything I would host again in a heartbeat.  I'm not sure that I would teach again.  That part was extremely stretching, it is very hard to capture the attention of kids who have traveled across the globe to see America with English grammar lessons.  I had a number of families who expressed a desire to much more involved if God lets us do this again.  If God brought a number of people like that I can see arranging this in a much different way and it being very effective.

Just a few highlights of the time with the Chinese students.  A friend pointed out that I had left you all hanging as to the time with the Chinese kids.  :)
The Chinese Students as they arrived in Portland

Our family with Sissi and Rita